andrew burke





McSweeney's: My Pet Peeves

Posted on: 2008-01-28

Sometimes they're funny, and sometimes they're not - but today's McSweeney's made me laugh out loud. Here are some excerpts.

My Pet Peeves

  • Bad art in motel rooms, especially bad performance art.

  • When a can of cheap peas says "Pea Color and Size May Vary" and inside there's just one giant blue pea.

  • The way road signs talk to you in that stern, fatherly voice.

  • I've been all over the world and have lived among every kind of culture and I can say, without any hesitation, that the most ignorant, rude, selfish, and self-centered people on earth are babies.

The 'road signs talk to you in that stern, fatherly voice' reminds me of an Austrian friend who hated the (then) new signs on all of the Toronto highways that, when they aren't giving traffic reports, have comments like "Remember to signal before changing lanes" and "Don't speed - better late than never!" and "Buckle Up - Arrive Alive" etc. She said there was a specific term in German for a certain patronizing voice of authority that treats people like children - she said she saw it all the time in Canada.

My all-time favourite McSweeney's list is probably Girls' Names for Parents Who Wanted A Boy. Dicka!

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