andrew burke





McSweeney's does Coffee Shops

Posted on: 2006-12-12

Bean and Nothingness:

Here at Bean and Nothingness, our aim is not just to provide you with the sheer tranquillity and utter transcendence that only the best coffee and coffee-related products can achieve but also to help you reach complete spiritual self-actualization during your time here. From our socially conscious beverages to our community-oriented pastries and our globally sensitive condiments, Bean and Nothingness is committed to making this a better world one customer at a time, just like it says on the door, and the counter, and the wall. It's not just a slogan, either.


Of course, we don't just serve coffee drinks. We serve a variety of liquid-refreshment options that will do much more than just quench your thirst. Our coconut chai will align your chakras. Our prune smoothies will purge the sins of past lives. Our Key-lime shakes will polish your aura. And our wheatgrass cider will cure bad karma. Oh, by the way, if you get tired of our Epiphany Chairs, you can always move over to our Inspiration Bar to work on your screenplay, write your great American novel, or found your Internet-based startup.

Is Far Coast reading this?

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