Andrew Burke

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Witty and Vibrant, Sensitive and Cranky
Posted on: 2007-07-27

My friend Mark has a blog at wittyandvibrant.com. It started as a travelogue for a trip to Europe a few years ago, but he's recently started using it as a soapbox. It's one of my favourite personal blogs - I like the cranky. Today he goes off on those wholesome kids you see in Toronto trying to get donations for various worthy causes:

I can deal with the homeless people, but confronting a relentless army of happy, young, excrutiatingly white kids is like running across the stage at a performance of “Up with People!” or Otesha or something like that. It makes my teeth itch: the too-polite Canadian in me wants to humor them, but anyone that hyperbolically earnest and shiny sets up a whole shitload of alarms in my head that scream CULT CULT CULT!!!RUN AWAY!!!CULT CULT CULT!!! I think the Branch Davidians were probably this happy before the FBI turned them into souvlaki.

...

If WWF hadn’t been pestering me for the better part of the 21st century, I wouldn’t want to set polar bears on fire the way I do now.

Other highlights include dadaist riffs on the porn comment spam his old posts have been accumulating.

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